This is war.

The enemy is real.

My husband and I recently felt called to marriage ministry. We knew it was God when our small, three couple church group turned into seven couples. We love our group – not only did it save our marriage a few years ago, other couples were (are) making serious progress in creating a foundation to support a godly marriage. We've taken on the mission to save marriage...and it's an important one.

Enter: the attacks.

We’d been warned by couples before to be careful; when you start moving in big ways to further God’s kingdom the enemy will do whatever he can to derail you. I was prepared, I know how the enemy attacks me: busyness, work, success, the next great thing, the nonprofit that needs help (my expertise)…any number of distractions from what God has called me to pursue. And don’t get me wrong – he did come at me with that, and I saw it and changed direction. What I did not expect was: the outburst my husband had, relatively randomly, a couple of weeks ago (something which we have not had in a couple of years); the completely inappropriate snide remark I made to him, in public, thwarting his authority and leadership role (something I have been 100% focused on not doing for a couple of years); or the complete shunning from my 16-almost 17-year old that he acknowledges isn’t fair or respectful, but he doesn’t care. So I guess when the normal methods didn’t work, he decided to go after my family.

Luckily, my husband and I are much wiser than we were a couple years ago and there is a tremendous amount of grace between us – so while our actions were unacceptable, they did not send us spiraling into a hateful argument against each other. The teen thing – yeah, I have no idea how to handle that one, but I do know better than to cave to some teenager with hormones waging war on his brain.

…but the point is, spiritual warfare is real. It’s not some fantasy or fable from some old book – it’s real and it’s effective and we MUST be aware of what is happening around us.

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. – 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

I can’t count the number of times that verse has been repeated, and I thought I understood it…until I was living in it, aware of what was happening. It’s confusing, and infuriating, and lonely in that place even when you’re surrounded by people who love and support you. So if you’re there right now, know that I feel you and my heart breaks for you because I’m there, too. And when my heart is broken and I don’t have the motivation to turn to God, that is the one time I know that I must do exactly that…and in the process of trying to help you navigate the negative, I’m hoping a little piece of my heart heals in the process.  

1: We’re walking in the victory of Christ, and that’s an eternal victory. So often we get wrapped up in what is going on here that we forget in the grand scheme of things this is a tiny piece of our full existence. We’re here for a short while, and all we can really do is our best to stay focused and show God’s love.

The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. – Deuteronomy 28:7

No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord. – Isaiah 54:17

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith. – 1 John 5:4

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. – Romans 8:37

2: We have been given God’s authority to stand against the schemes of the devil, and holy weapons to fight against it. You have power in your thoughts, words and prayers to overcome what is before you, you just have to claim it. You are not lost in this world and it’s ridiculous and hopeless circumstances.

Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. – Luke 10:19

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. – Ephesians 6:11

For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. – 2 Corinthians 10:4

3: God is with you. All the time, in all circumstances, no matter how dark or lonely or hopeless or scary.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. – Psalm 91:1-2, 11, 14-15

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. – Isaiah 43:2

You have to hold on to that faith. You have to believe in your heart that you are an overcomer. The more good you do for God, the bigger target you paint on your back – and rejoice in that! If nothing is coming at you, you’re not doing something right.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all saints, and also for me… - Ephesians 6:10-19a