Self Reflection

Nine of us spent last week on a road trip to the Grand Canyon. I knew it would be incredible. I knew I would see God in it. What I didn’t know is how much God would work on my heart through that trip.

First, I don’t know how you can stand at the rim of the Grand Canyon and not see God. I don’t know how you can sit in the canyon, and look up at cliffs towering higher than the Empire State Building, and not see God. I don’t know how you can drive through 3 states, seeing every kind of environment seamlessly change from one to the other, and not see God. Night skies, sunrises, storm clouds…God was so very present in all of it, and I’m so very grateful.

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. – Romans 1:20 (NLT)

Second, if you can spend 8 days in an RV with 7 people and not come away knowing something new about yourself…you’re blatantly ignoring self-reflection. I like to think that I’m changing in Christ. I think people always assume once you’ve found Christ you’re supposed to be perfect immediately – that is NOT the case. The Holy Spirit works inside you continuously, pointing out sin, areas that need to change, weakness. The only difference between the saved and the unsaved is acknowledgment that I can’t change that without Jesus. My own strength and willpower, no matter how strong, isn’t enough – I have to rely on Him. But the work is never done, and once you think you’ve conquered one area of sin, the Spirit will light up another for you to start working on. So, this week for me was a moment to be proud of the areas I have changed, and a stark realization that I still have so much further to go.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. – Psalm 139:23-24

I had a friend tell me that God has a sense of humor – your final exam will always be what you think you have conquered so that He can see if your heart is truly in the right place. Once you have surrendered to God, you can’t carry on leading his people with old behaviors – and we already know He is a God of refinement.

So that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. – 1 Peter 1:7

But of all the self-reflection I did, the one thing that affected me most was a book I read on the drive home – Hearts of Fire by Voice of the Martyrs. Eight stories about women from all over the globe that work in the underground church and gave up everything to follow Christ. It got me thinking. These women knew going into their faith that arrest, torture, abandonment, even death may be at the end of their path, and they still surrendered to God and gave him literally everything they had to spread the gospel. But here in America, we’re not facing persecution like that and we still can’t surrender everything in the name of Christ. We’re so self-involved that the small sacrifices we need to make, we hold on to with an iron fist. I don’t know about you, but I’m not interested in cupcake Jesus…I want the real thing. Every thing He has to offer. But more often than not, what I see is lazy Christianity. We want Sunday Jesus and all of the blessings.

In your struggle against sin,  you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." - Hebrews 12:4-6

We have to commit right here, right now to fight lazy Christianity. We can’t seek Him on Sunday and expect to move God’s kingdom forward. We have access to everything we could possibly need to make an impact, if we’re just willing to surrender it ALL to Christ. So, I’ll leave you with the words of encouragement my friend left me with – “level up.”