Tolerance, Part 3 of 4

We’ve been talking about tolerance among Christians for the last couple posts, and this time I’d like to pivot to tolerance of non-Christians. I mentioned in the beginning that I had been working on one post for several weeks – that one post became 4, including this segment. I admit, these last two hold a bit more passion than the first two. If anything, the process of working through these posts have forced me to deeply look at some tough topics, and taught me more about who I am to be as a Christian than most of my adult studies…but I’m still human, and I’m still frustrated by some hypocrisies. Rather than pull out all of the emotion in the original posts – I decided to go with it…because I said this would be real life. I hope it’s not unbecoming of a Christian – I pray it’s authentic validation that the world will frustrate you and sometimes you can’t do anything about it. And I hope that in my search to quell my own frustrations, I can give you a word that encourages you not to adopt them as your own. 😊

I despise religious arguments. Like, some part of the over-achiever in me would LOVE to be a master of apologetics. (For those who may not know, apologetics is “systematic argumentative discourse.” In English, that’s an alternative view of a topic offered in an organized manner. Christians who master apologetics can defend the truth of the Christian religion.)  Unfortunately, I have this weird thing in my brain (let’s agree to blame my college education) where I can memorize a large amount of data and take a test…but 5 minutes after the test I have completely forgotten what I learned.  I’m more of a “retain it when I understand the logic behind it” girl, rather than a “memorize a bunch of facts” girl. In some ways, I don’t feel a need to defend my faith – you have free-will to choose, I know I’m right because I feel the change. Mostly, this leads to an intense desire to grab someone’s shoulders and shake them while yelling “if you would just give it a try, you would understand.” As you can imagine, that doesn’t usually go over very well.

Anyway, back to the subject, I dislike religious arguments because I know how passionately the other person feels about their faith. My first house was literally one block from a Jehovah’s Witness church…so several times a year there was a knock at the door, that I prayed I wasn’t home for, from two young adults that wanted to talk to me about "the good news." One day, at the door I explained I was a Christian and while I respected what they were trying to do, I wasn’t interested in a debate that day. They weren't either - they were more interested in an argument. I politely responded, “You know how fiercely you believe what you want to tell me? I feel the same way about what I want to tell you.” That was the day I realized religious argument is typically a complete waste of time. Paul said, in 2 Timothy 2:

Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies, you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after be captured by him to do his will. (verses 23-26)

I recognize that I have a long way to go in the “correcting his opponents” directive. Usually, my "correction" devolves into an argument that is completely ineffectual in the end. On the other extreme, I'll choose not to say anything. Neither response is biblical nor does it solve any problems, and I'll be the first to admit it is a very fine line. So, let's just settle on I have a long way to go and leave it there for now. Maybe divine wisdom will come later and we can pick this topic back up.

So, a Christian quarreling with someone else is NOT doing the Lord's work, they're furthering their own agenda - because as Christians we are called to not be quarrelsome...and sometimes, people just want to argue. Need an example? Check out social medial. It's rampant with belligerent arguing that isn't seeking education of others, but to prove a point (religious, political, the merit of high rise jeans - you name it); and what do you walk away from that with? Bad feelings, usually. No one wins, and everyone looks like a keyboard warrior. 

Model Christ as best you can. That is the testimony the world needs to see. Not arguing and forcing compliance - if God wanted forced compliance he wouldn't have given us free-will. Just be kind and allow the Holy Spirit to do His work...after all, it's God's job to change hearts, not ours.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:7

By all this people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. – John 13:35

 **This is discussing religious arguments (maybe disagreements is a better term), not religious debate. I'll debate a wall until I'm blue in the face...but as far as terminology and this post go - the key to a debate is exchanging information about opposing viewpoints; I'm (hopefully) educating, and the end goal is not forcing compliance. Religious arguments are one-sided and generally seek compliance of one side to the other's viewpoint.