Tolerance, Part 1 of 4

I spent several weeks trying to get this post to say what I wanted it to say before I realized that this topic is probably worthy of a series and not just a single post. So, I’ll spend the next few posts dealing with tolerance in various relationships, and hope that my intent is delivered carefully and kindly.

I find I tend to ask myself more and more before I speak, “how is this really hurting me?” It's a good temperature gauge for me. While I understand Christians should be concerned with the state of those in the world around us – some things just aren’t my business.  

Don’t get me wrong – I do not subscribe to the theory that tolerance = anything goes. We’re a diverse world, with diverse viewpoints and opinions galore. As a Christian, I believe the Bible is the truth and a living Word. This means I also have respect for the healthy dose of interpretation involved in scripture that is, by definition, living – and that means it changes for the person reading it. What one scripture meant (or didn’t mean) to me one day, may take on a different meaning when I need it later. Does that mean I think the fundamentals change? Not at all. But I’m slower to judge when someone interprets a story differently than I did. I want to allow the space for them to hear God in their own personal relationship, and not jump to judgment. It's not my job to critique their message.  

Romans 14 addresses this issue in a beautiful way. The first century church was a mix of Jews who had longstanding traditions honoring God, and Gentiles who were new to the faith. There was a lot of bickering about what one group was doing and the other was not, and Paul wanted to address this issue with them.

The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does for God has accepted them. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. – Romans 14:3, 6-7

Paul uses this chapter to call out the Church – it is not what one does or does not do that honors God and demonstrates strong faith, it is the intent behind the action.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. – Romans 14:1

Paul was calling their faith weak, not because of their specific actions, but because they were basing their decision on legalistic old practices; the old law was no longer applicable under the new covenant with Jesus. It was a matter of the heart, intention, and honor.

In the world we live in we will face many people of faith who have convictions about one thing or another – maybe God gave me those same convictions, and maybe he didn’t. The important part is why it is your conviction – is your motivation to honor God? Then, ok – you do you. As Christians, we are called not to be a stumbling block to other Christians.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. – Romans 14:13

Eating meat is a bit old-school, so how about a relevant example? Maybe God has convicted you not to listen to secular music, and your friend is a massive J.T. fan. (Did I just date myself?) Don’t assume your convictions are everyone else’s convictions. If your friend doesn’t listen to secular music, don’t change their car stereo when you get in – honor what God has placed on their heart, or you risk being the stumbling block. God will convict us to do or not do things that hinder our relationship with him – what causes me to stumble may not be an issue for you.

We honor God with our intentions. Be intentional. Talk to God. Honor the convictions he places on your heart. Respect the convictions he places on your brothers and sisters in Christ. Don’t fall into sin because of your own opinions about how to honor God.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin. – Romans 14:22-23

Note: Honoring God with our actions and following his commandments are two different things. We’ll discuss how to address behavior counter to scripture in the next post.