Courage through Doubt

Gideon is one of my favorite Bible characters; I identify with him so much. First, a brief history lesson.

Originally, God did not want the Israelites to have a King. He had set aside his people to be different from the world (sound familiar?), God was their King and he ruled them personally usually through prophets. As the Israelites claimed the promise land, there was one rule – the Israelites were NOT to mix with the people of the conquered pagan lands.   When the Israelites would get out of line, God would raise up a Judge to act as leader – legal, civil and military. The book of Judges recounts the stories of the 12 judges (including a girl!) – beginning in chapter 3.  

But Gideon’s story is in Chapter 6. Gideon lived in a time that the Midianites were terrorizing the Israelites. They were stealing crops and killed their livestock – it was torture. Gideon was a farmer, a member of the weakest of the 12 tribes of Israel, and the least in his family. Imagine his surprise when the angel of the Lord appeared to him while he was on the threshing floor (for wheat – if you want more details about threshing, ask in the comments) and referred to him as “mighty warrior!”

There are so many amazing lessons in Gideon’s story – it is a bit hard for me to stay focused. I encourage you to read the story in full – chapters 6-8 – but for now I’m going to skip ahead because what is significant about Gideon isn’t his calling, per say, it was his actions after his calling.

The Lord spoke to Gideon in the night and instructed that he tear down his father’s alters to Baal and Asherah. Gideon obeyed, but he did it in the dead of night because he was afraid. God began to prepare Gideon for the battle against the Midianites. Gideon knew who God was, and knew he’d seen him face-to-face, but leading up to the battle Gideon tested God – not once, but TWICE.

Then Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said, behold, I am laying a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece alone, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said. And it was so.” – Judges 6:36-38a

“As you have said.” Twice, Gideon acknowledged that God had already told him what would happen. Twice, Gideon laid the fleece out on the floor, each time with different instructions. Twice, God answered him.

Later in the story, God gives Gideon further instruction, and again gives Gideon grace in case he was afraid (Judges 7:9-11). He was. He did. God delivered Gideon courage and the battle was won.

You may be wondering what I love about this story. So. Many. Things. But most of the time, I draw strength from God’s response to Gideon’s doubt. He spoke with the angel of the Lord. He tested God…twice. God continually met Gideon where he was and gave him the strength he needed to fight and be victorious.

I am a consistently questioning God’s calling on my life. I am consistently second-guessing the directions he has given me. My questioning generally has less to do with my faith in God’s ability to fulfill his purpose, and more with my ability to execute what he is asking. And yet, in the Bible over and over again, God calls the weak to execute his plans – and they are victorious. Why? Because God desires the glory. He wants the world to see that those who are “less than” by the world’s standards can execute flawless victory when they rely on him.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Pure obedience is the goal, but we’re human and God knows that. It’s obvious he knows that by the grace he showed Gideon time and time again. So, I gather courage from Gideon to step out into God’s plans not focused on my own abilities, but on God’s abilities. 

But I also see Gideon as a warning; I don’t want to ask God to prove himself to me, even if I know he will. I want to be strong in faith, firm on the foundation of our relationship, and trusting in his plan and his power to execute. For when I am weak, then I am strong.